🌍✨ Embarking on a Journey of Mental Health ✨🌈

After years of trying to fit into society’s mould, constantly striving to be the best version of myself, I’ve finally realised that it’s time to prioritise my mental well-being. After helping so many other women, I am now on my own self-help journey with Mind Matters. I am not afraid to be helped – but I was. πŸ’†β€β™€

πŸ’ͺ It may be hard for some to understand, but the past abuse I’ve experienced has left me with deep-seated anxiety and worries that make it challenging for me to go out and truly embrace life. Yep, you wouldn’t believe it!

I find myself changing outfits multiple times, cancelling plans, and avoiding activities I love, all because of this overwhelming fear.

I only go to the same place, over and over, as it’s safe for me. I cannot go far and if my hubby is home, I won’t go anywhere.
This is an illness as a result of what happened to me. I don’t go out after 4pm, so just wait until I’m healed to ask me to do so!

I keep saying I will, but I cannot.
But… one day, maybe, I will.

I want you to know that this isn’t who I am – it’s the effect of my PTSD, it’s the effect of what people have done.

And now, with new-found courage, I am seeking help to break free from these restraints. My own therapy starts 27th October.

I have always helped others and I understand everything about the brain, body and soul (as much as I can). So it’s not logical that I am suffering.

I know how to eat well and actually become obsessed by it, but deep down I don’t want to be.

Deep down I want to just relax.

My mind hasn’t allowed this. Until now.

I adore my job, but it’s difficult for me to function outside the sanctuary of my home – my safe space. That’s why I let you down and myself.

I cherish my relationships with friends and family, although I struggle to consistently connect with you.

That’s why I hardly see you.

You may think I’m rude. I am not.
I am missing you. But I cannot reach you.

My loving husband has been incredibly understanding, accommodating my anxiety. I owe him the world… I worry when he leaves the house.

The past never seems to be that far away.

I also have body dysmorphia and am always frustrated with my body weight and since the menopause it’s worse. The self-sabotage symptoms never go away even if you push yourself at the gym until you burn out.

Travelling far from my home terrifies me, yet deep down, I yearn to explore the world. I hide away, despite being an outgoing woman at heart. Balancing a healthy diet is essential, but oh, how I long to indulge in my favourite treats. πŸ”πŸ•

Work keeps me busy, as socialising remains challenging. People say I am a workaholic: it’s really because this is all I have that keeps me going daily.

This is the reality of mental health, we are okay, but we are trapped in our own bubble-wrap.

Yes, we may appear accomplished, but we aren’t truly free. Let’s join hands and break these chains together! πŸ€πŸ”“πŸ’ž

I never want to say no to seeing you, I never want to be rude, I would love to go to parties and gatherings.

I never mean to cancel on you.

Mental health needs to be understood as, underneath, this is not who we want to be πŸ–€

I cannot wait to see what this new chapter will bring. Don’t give up on me or anyone who appears not to want to see you… they just don’t know how to break the cycle.

Speak out – you may find it helps you grow.πŸ–€

We can help each other ❀‍